Once Upon a Time...

Many people, after hearing that I am a mother of 3 boys, tend to ask me if I wish I had a girl or if my hubs and I will try again.........as if we had/have a choice!

But what a lot of you don't know is; there was a time in my life that the Lord blessed me with a girl 4 girls, 2 of which are my hubs nieces by blood and 2 are nieces by marriage.

Yes that is right I was able to brush and braid until my was content. D would even fall asleep when I would fix her hair, often times it was a game to see how many braids she could wear at one time. P LOVED staying with us so much so that when we became pregnant she threw a fit that we had to take down "her" bed in order to make room for a crib.

L and A were often at their moms except for the holidays. My hubs and I didn't have children then so filling our home with their laughter brought so much joy to our hearts. The two of them could make you laugh for hours. L loved our dog Trixie but Trixie wouldn't have anything to do with her and it made her so upset. A was always the quiet one.

Just last week we came across a photo album with Christmas pics of "back in the day" we were all gathered in our living room around the Christmas tree, shoving the BIGGEST mess of wrapping paper into big black trash bags. Each on of us adults had a bag in our hand and L was dancing in the middle of it all.

The sad thing is life has changed since then. Our families have grown apart, some of us moved away, the girls have all grown up and nothing has stayed the same, not even those living room Christmases. But what makes it all suck is this weekend we will be laying L to rest.

She suffered from epilepsy most of her life yet this past Tuesday her suffering ended. She just turned 21 a few weeks ago and with her whole life ahead of her, a seizure...took her home.

So much time has passed, so much that I don't think she even remembered who I was. Which gets me contemplating What if? What if I could've....should've......would've??? Did I?

The truth is....I did. It was the only thing I could do. It was the only thing I knew how to do. It is the only thing I could have ever done and it is the one thing that I would NOT change. I loved her...I loved her unconditionally. And for that, a day will come when we will meet again. Until that comes life will go on, but the memories will remain the same...maybe even a little sweeter.


Thanks for Reading,
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