Jun 13, 2011

If it Comes in Threes...

.....Dear God let us be done!

At the end of last week my hubs and I lost 3 of our family members in 3 days. It was horrible!! 

I went to sleep Wednesday night I couldn't sleep very well, which is nothing new here lately. When I finally got to sleep I had one of those dreams again. This dream only comes ever so often and it is the same dream that every Firefighter spouse has at least once.

Ok it is not a dream it is a complete nightmare!! A scene clipped right out of Ladder 51, so if you have seen the movie you know exactly what scene I am talking about. If you haven't seen it watch, because I am not going into detail ;-) 

Yet this time I was awakened by my phone, it was nearly 6am and I think my heart stopped. I reached to grab my phone as fast as I could, before I could say hello I could hear my sister~in~law screaming that I wasn't answering my phone. I don't think I ever said hello, I just said "I am here" and then in a state of panic she was telling me she couldn't find my hubs.

My first thought was something happened to his brother, but it was her brother and she was searching for answers that only my hubs could help her with. He had died in a motorcycle accident.

My heart hurt for her!!

The next day she called and the first thing she said was "I can't take anymore" I though she had been given grief over something but she was calling to tell me that another family member had passed, this time on our hubs side.

Again they reached out to my hubs for answers.

His cousin, who he had been close to at one time, just lost her hubs to suicide. She is now a widow with 2 boys.

My heart aches for the three of them.

The following day I visited my parents and while in the kitchen my mom informed me that our cousin had passed. I knew that hospice had been called in a few weeks back but still was in denial that anything was going to happen. He had been suffering from cancer for a while now and knowing that is was without pain, I couldn't feel anymore grief.

I just looked up and said "Dear God let us be done" I looked at my mom and said "that's our three", turned and walked out.

I haven't seen my cousins in years and a lot of time has passed but I know their pain, I lost my Grandfather to cancer several years ago.

Yet I still mourn with them!

We have already attended one of the three funerals, the final two will take place on the same day and I pray that this is an only once in a life time string of events because I will never want to do it again =0(


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